I woke up to realize I am carrying an unwanted passenger. It is called cancer or myeloma. AKA known as bone marrow cancer it breaks down your marrow much as the marrow in a chicken bone would be. I can't see for the life of me why it chose me but it did so I have to be understanding not angry as I was at first realizing my life as it was is now finite. My life always was but now I can see it and taste it before I knew but never exactly when?? Somehow amidst the injections Doctors visits and hours of studying the ins and outs of this malady of diseases that hangs over my head I have to somehow balance my life with family and not allow them to take this experience lightly cause who knows who may be next to receive this heavy burden. I have to smile to keep my tears in check with my grandkids, knowing that it can be a day or night that my life can be cut short with the call of my maker claiming my soul to come rest. Why did this terrible thing come into play? There is but 1 way for man or woman to be born but millions of ways for us to die. We search our hearts with answers that only start with in our minds placed there in memories that part with our ancestors and their forerunners people that gave them the answers we now seek. What turmoil and pain do we have to endure to ensure that our lives won't be in vain nor shall our existence be looked upon as a glimmer in the eyes of those who loved us. No we will be held high by all those around us who knew us and lived through us they knew that we didn't want to go or to leave would be too painful to bear. I can only give you what I feel and that is tho my days are filled with love for my children and friends those that remember me will tell you that I lived through it all I lived to be loved to be here to be of service I lived. I lived so that you could all be!
